The Fear That Is Holding You Back

Fear is the thing that keeps us from living fully. It is what makes people shrink back when they know they want more. It stops you from speaking your truth, from showing who you really are, and from creating the life you actually want.

The funny thing is, it is not really failure we are afraid of. It is what failure might reveal. If I fail then people will finally see that I am not good enough. If I fail then they will know what I already fear about myself. That I am not smart enough. That I am not worthy enough. That I do not belong.

That is why so many people never try. They would rather stay where it feels safe, even if it means staying stuck. Because stepping forward feels like opening the door for the whole world to see what they have been trying to hide.

Failure is not the problem. We all fall. We all miss. That does not make you a failure. What makes it a failure is staying down, pretending it is safer not to try again. That is the trap.

And here is the dangerous thing about the trap. The longer you stay down, the easier it gets to believe you belong there. Comfort starts to disguise itself as safety. You tell yourself, at least I am not being judged, at least I am not being exposed. But deep down you know you are not living. You are surviving. And survival is not what you were built for.

Fear is not the truth. It is protection. At some point in your life you felt judgment, rejection, or shame so deeply that your brain locked it in as danger. Your mind said never again. And now every time you get close to putting yourself out there, fear steps in to pull you back. It feels real, but it is learned. And if it can be learned, it can be unlearned.

I know this because I lived it. Growing up, I was the child of immigrant parents. I struggled to pronounce words. Kids laughed. I felt like I did not belong. When it came to speeches in school my body completely shut down. My hands shook, my stomach turned, and there were times I actually fainted or threw up. I was terrified of messing up, terrified of being judged, so I hid. I told myself it was safer to stay quiet than to risk being seen.

But hiding did not protect me. It kept me trapped. The fear was not saving me, it was starving me. Every time I stayed quiet, I built the cage a little higher around myself. What I eventually realized is that messing up is not going to kill me. What will kill me is spending my life hidden behind fear. What will kill me is never trying, never speaking, and never risking being seen.

Think about how fear shows up in your own life. Maybe you stop yourself from asking for the promotion because you are afraid of hearing no. Maybe you avoid starting that business because you are afraid of failing in public. Maybe you stay in a relationship or a job you have outgrown because you are afraid of what will happen if you walk away. Fear convinces you that staying small will protect you, but what it really does is rob you of the chance to grow into who you were meant to be.

Toastmasters is where you step into fear instead of running from it. It is where you stand up, stumble, laugh, learn, and grow. I have seen people walk in shaking, barely able to introduce themselves, and within weeks they are telling stories that light up the room. Not because the fear is gone, but because they learned to act in spite of it.

Fear will always try to hold you back. But it only wins if you let it. If you are ready to take the first step, Toastmasters is where you start. Step onto the stage, face the fear, and find your voice.